Thursday, January 14, 2010
"Happy New Year!" rang in as my Mother's birthday faded into the previous year. How lucky is she to party with the rest of the world on her birthday. It's rather funny that she's actually ringing in the passing of her big day! Once everyone toasts - her birthday is toast! It was a very simple party, but with people who really mean a lot to us. (missed my baby brother) Everyone was in good spirits and you could see the sense of hope invested in 2010. I don't think many people had a good 2009. A lot of anguish and personal turmoil stayed behind in that year, for me. With the new year, there are new beginnings and resolutions. Every year I say that I will research and find a way to get my songs and creative aspirations out into the world. Can you believe that I've written half a novel, half a musical, half a biography, and over 2,000 song lyrics. I also am starting on a new venture of small articles and short stories as a way to actually FINISH something. So yes, one of my BIG goals for this year is to finish my novel. One thing at a time. I'm really proud of it and I just need to finish it! Another thing I would like to see in 2010 is success. Not big wads of money in my pocket, I hate money! I just want a nicer place to live and a working vehicle. The definition of success - what does it mean to you? I realize that to everyone it's different. Some want a large mansion-esque home atop a mountain overlooking the ocean with a jaguar to drive you to and from the fanciest restaurants. All I want is to live in a place without screaming, partying college students, to have a running vehicle - preferably one that is good to the environment, and to also have a creative job where I'm appreciated. Well one out of three ain't bad. I love my new job - very little stress and everything I do, I know I'm valued. What a change! I also have to thank my lucky stars every morning when I wake up next to Paul and Dobbie is all curled up at my feet. My love life is highly successful - I've got two beautiful men in my life! I also have a very loving family who loves me just the way I am and keeps me entertained with all the drama that any normal and dysfunctional family goes through. I have it made. I just need to keep telling myself that. While watching the news this morning and seeing all the devastation in Haiti, I was inspired. There amongst the tears and heartache were people singing and showing their faith in life and God and country. They were so happy to be alive and it's sad that it takes an image like that to wake a person up inside, but it did. It woke me up. The old saying that the bad is there to help you appreciate the good is still so true and poignant. Granted no one wants to have pain or grief, but it brings so much awareness and creates a rebirth. I feel reborn. By the time I reach my 30th birthday, I want to have my purpose all mapped out. I want to feel that I'm making this world better. There are so many people on this planet who need. I would love to help quench that need. If I were to make money at what I love to do - singing, creating, writing - I would be the most unselfish success. I would give as much as I could - honestly. That's why I have to have that purpose in my mind. I want to attain fortune so that I may give, give, give... The only way to make things happen is to get out there and seize it! I feel so secure in who I am and what I have to offer that I believe this year is the year of seizing! I just need to leave my life indoors. Monday on Oprah, there was a family who had gotten so disconnected from each other because they were on the phone, texting, on the computer, playing video games, or watching TV. I took a step back and examined my life and realized that I'm no different. Paul and I work, come home and get directly on the computer. Live in virtual worlds and get lost in them until we fall asleep. There are so many other things we can be doing. Going for a walk, painting, playing a game, watching a movie and actually watch it. At the moment, we put a movie in and stay on our computers, so we're not really enjoying it or getting into the movie at all. Such a waste. Life was not meant to be lived indoors. The winter is now over. Time to lose weight, live an outdoor life and limit my time in virtual worlds. A life examined makes you realize what's important and what can be left by the wayside. I choose REAL versus FAKE. A life void of lies, hurtful empty words, and negativity. Here's to a beautiful year of promise, hope, and going after what means something to you!