Thursday, May 13, 2010

Oh, The Humanity!

When you look out your window or step out your door, you see the world, the real world. When you sit inside all day and shut yourself away, you imagine a world of your own. You create an idea of the world from what you remember or what you desire the world to be. When you finally step out of "your" world into reality, there is a sense of loss and you become disappointed at every turn.
If you could just step into the world each and every day and keep current in the lives of those who really matter to you, really knowing them and really seeing them, you won't be let down as often. You will have no choice, but to see the realness of life. Not what you think a person might be, but who they actually are. So often do we make up our minds before even researching and getting to the heart of someone.

We are human. Each of us make mistakes, break hearts, say hurtful things, turn our backs on people, and carry burdens and baggage with us at some time in our life. Instead of judging someone, can't we look back into our past and see when we've stood in their shoes in some way or another? Can't we find some compassion and similarities in each other?
It has come to my attention that instead of relating and admiring each other, there are often times we dismiss or write people off for something inside them that we wish we had. For instance, let's say there are two friends, one named Julie and the other named Anne. Julie was overweight and Anne was skinny. Anne liked hanging out with Julie because she wasn't a threat to her. Julie was tired of her weight issues and decided it was time to lose all the weight. She succeeded and became even skinnier than Anne. She also became more outgoing and confident than Anne. Anne feeling self-conscious, cut all ties with Julie and never spoke to her again. Instead of being happy for Julie and being selfless, Anne was selfish and was lacking security in herself. She couldn't be proud of her friend resulting in a broken relationship.

Selfishness - it's an epidemic in this day and age. Self help books often help people with low self esteem to become more focused on themselves. To take care of themselves first and then they will be more happy and fulfilled to help those around them. There are books about learning how to say, "No!" Books that speak of people trying to take away your power and confidence. So many different books that you can become paranoid that everyone is out to get you. These books are great for those in real need of help, but for those who read every book they come in contact with, the messages can get crossed and create such contradictions in their mind. Also, it is one thing to take care of YOU, but it's another to become so self-involved that you believe everyone is against you. When you take yourself out of the equation of life, you think the worst of those still engaging with each other. When the truth of the matter is that everyone is only wishing you were there and missing you terribly. Selfishness hurts yourself in the end. You lose out on so many joys of life. You also miss out on the excitement of experiencing something different because you've given up your control of the situation. To control every aspect is selfish and you don't learn new things.

Humanity is so fascinating. The joys, the hardships, the growing, the love, the courage - being human is a multi-layered facet. As we grow we realize that each and everyone of us has a past, present, & future that help mold us. What we've been through, what we're going through, and what we dream for ourselves directly affect who we are. Our past holds our foundation. Moral fiber, traumatic experiences, and lessons learned are all balled up in our past. Our present holds the now. What we're passionate about, what gets us through the day, what makes us happy usually surrounds us in our present. Our future holds our dreams, goals, and plans. The future is like a blank canvas. What you do today adds color and texture to your future.

If everyone could just look at the NOW and not what someone has done in the past. We'd all be a lot happier. If you can agree to let it all go, either by talking it out and moving on from there or simply by agreeing to disagree, life would be so much simpler. Truthfully, what good is a grudge? What good is a rift in family and friends? We need each other. Yes, you may be happy for a period of time without certain people in your life, but eventually it catches up with you. People are people - no one is perfect and everyone deserves a second chance. Just think back to when someone granted you a second chance... why not pay it forward?

This life is so fragile and so short. We are born into a support unit and somewhere along the way with disagreements, differences in character, and distance - we let people go. Maybe you see them now and then and it's civil, but civility is lacking the emotional connection that you both deserve. Why not invest in each other? Why not truly care about the other's well being? What they're doing in their life and vice versa? Love and friendship are a two way street: what you give, you should get. Still if you don't, you shouldn't write someone off - talk to them.

I hope that those who read this start to take stock of their own relationships. Lord knows, that I have all of this to work on myself. I don't claim to be an expert or perfect. I'm more flawed than most, but what is going through my mind and heart may help someone and that's all I can hope for.
This quote sums it up:
"If you want people to notice your faults, start giving advice." - Kelly Stephens
We often give advice on things we need to change in our own life. It's much easier to tell someone what we would do rather than what we've done. We are much more courageous in our advice than we are in our own reality.
Be yourself, be true, be open, go out into the world, love you, love everyone, let go of people's past mistakes, let go of your past mistakes, live in the NOW, live, laugh, find passion, and be bold!

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