Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Love, Satisfaction & Legacy
"I shut my eyes in order to see," a quote by Paul Gaugin that I have peering at me everyday I sit down at my desk. The inner reflection of a person is so interesting to me. When you are alone and you are left with all your experience and wisdom, close your eyes and what do you see?
I hope you see love. Somewhere in all the chaos or calm of your life there is always love. It can be deep love from a lover or great confidant or it can be the small acts of love that surround us every day. Someone opening a door for you or asking how your day is going. It may sound all sugar coated and cliche, but those actions are all fueled by someone with love in their heart. To reach out to another - that's love. To find the man of your dreams who not only has your back, but keeps the spark alive that's love. I'm lucky enough to have a man who loves me so much that he can't leave a room without kissing me. To be with family laughing and being 100% yourself because you feel so comfortable and content - that's love. To have your brother write for no reason at all - other than to tell you that he loves you, that's what life is all about. To have a friend you can call at 3am and she'll be there for you, no questions asked. To want to call your Mom all the time just to say Hi and end up talking for hours because you're that close - Love, love, love! To be filled with such pride and admiration for your Grandmother who started this whole family and still loves each child so unconditionally - man I love my Grandma! I am lucky in the love department... may your life be overflowing with love too.
What I also hope you see when you close your eyes is satisfaction. To be satisfied, well that has many definitions. (Some not suitable for children) Satisfied means: the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need, or expectation. Desires can be so many things. My desire is to bring smiles to people when I sing or create a card or collage. I desire employment that pushes me, but also uses my natural talents. I desire peace in the hearts of all those I love. I desire financial stability to be comfortable as well as have extra income to contribute to charity and be able to create organizations to better our world. My needs are pretty simple. I need a hand to hold that will never let mine go. I need friendships that are strong and continue past our first argument. I need a place that's quiet and peaceful where I can just be. I need honesty. I need to see my brother more often!!!! Expectations... well Paul (my fiance) and I have really tried hard to curb our expectations. Meaning we just let things happen and do our best not to be let down by the images our mind conjured up before we even experienced the moment. So, I don't expect much and that may seem negative, but it's not. I'm not painting an awful picture so that when it's better, I'll be happy. I paint no picture and therefore the blank canvas gets its color from the moments unscripted and I go home with a piece of art! Expectation can also mean what you expect from those around you. I expect respect - that's all. You don't have to like me or even understand me. Just show me some respect and I will do the same.
Lastly as I sit here with my eyes closed, I see legacy. What I hope my imprint on the world will be. I'm turning thirty this year so there's a lot left to do to achieve my legacy, but I do feel I'm a very kind person. I know Kindness and Respect towards others will be part of my legacy. I also hope to be known as a singer, artist, a great cook, and a word magician. I don't need to be famous. (Honestly if I was famous I'd probably go bankrupt, all my money would go to charity and we'd live in a little cottage by the sea) I just want to make a mark. Whether it be through charity work, finishing and publishing one of my 3 novels, or just getting a song sung on the radio... I've realized more and more lately that I don't need/want the spotlight. What I don't want is to be forgotten. A book on a shelf for someone in 2100 to stumble upon and find purpose, humor, truth, and beauty - that would have me smiling from the heavens above. To win a Grammy would be pretty cool too - don't get me wrong.
As I open my eyes to the world around me, I see that not only do I love, but I'm kind, show respect, and I am worthy of it all flowing back to me. I don't have all the answers, but I've lived some, hurt some and gained so much experience in this time I've had on earth. I can't wait for this next chapter of life that I'm transitioning into: being myself fearlessly. If you have an open heart, you will always have a rich soul. Be who you are and make no apologies for it.
So, close your eyes... what do you see? You're beautiful, intelligent, experienced, __________, ____________, ______________, _____________.... etc.
YOU FILL IN THE BLANKS.
See yourself truthfully so that you may see others in that same light!